I finally found her eating cake

I finally found her eating cake

Just when I feel like I found her, the one that got locked away in the closet of grief, the one that was buried beneath the one who should have kept me safe, the one that disappeared trying to make the Decade Him not so sad anymore. It took three decades and then some...
Some Days She Closes

Some Days She Closes

Today they were closed: my neighbor’s tulips. They have their front yard adorned with multiple varieties and daffodils that have all come to bloom as spring has made its way to the Pacific Northwest. A month of more sunshine, longer days, and warmer temperatures...
Will You Notice

Will You Notice

Will you notice him? Will you notice her? You two are at it like siblings over who got the largest bite. I’m tired of both will you just acknowledge you both have an absolutely vital place. I need you both. I love you both. Can we stop blocking each other?  The...
Calling My Bullshit

Calling My Bullshit

I keep dipping a toe, I’ll try a lot today and if this doesn’t work out we won’t have given too much. You see, I’m terrified of giving too much. This abandoning me got out of control and now I’ve been holding her with chains instead, afraid to let go, afraid to let...
Empty Doesn’t Need Effort

Empty Doesn’t Need Effort

If it’s not working it’s because you aren’t trying hard enough. Hustle until you make it. Only blood sweat and tears get what they want.  This is the messaging we’re all told. Everything requires trying harder, pushing harder, doing hard things.  I’ve recently been...